How to Use Gratitude to Restore Your Joy (Even When You're Tired)

Gratitude isn't about pretending everything is wonderful. It's about noticing what's still good, even when life feels hard.

With Canadian Thanksgiving just passed and American Thanksgiving around the corner, let’s talk about gratitude.

And before you roll your eyes and think, "Oh great, another thing I'm supposed to do to feel better!" — hear me out.

As nurses, we're constantly encouraged to be resilient, stay positive and look on the bright side.

But when you're exhausted, overwhelmed, short-staffed or wondering how you're going to get through another shift, being told to "just be grateful" can feel like one more thing on an already overflowing plate.

And that's not what gratitude is about.

Gratitude doesn't mean ignoring what's wrong.

It doesn't mean accepting poor working conditions.

And it certainly doesn't mean pretending you're okay when you're not.

It's about learning to notice the moments of goodness that can get lost when we're operating in survival mode.

Why gratitude matters to your brain

Our brains are naturally wired to pay attention to potential threats and problems. It's part of how we survive.

And in nursing? We're trained to notice what could go wrong!

We assess risks, anticipate complications, identify changes and respond to emergencies.

It's an essential part of our profession.

But when that constant vigilance follows us home, it can become difficult to switch off and notice what's going right.

This is where gratitude can help.

Research suggests that regularly practising gratitude can support psychological wellbeing, positive emotions and life satisfaction, although the benefits vary and it isn't a cure for burnout.

Gratitude gives us an opportunity to deliberately shift our attention, even briefly, towards something positive.

And sometimes, that small shift is enough to create a moment of relief.

Gratitude doesn't have to be grand

One of the biggest misconceptions about gratitude is that we need something extraordinary to be grateful for.

We don't.

Sometimes gratitude looks like:

• A colleague who makes you laugh during a difficult shift.

• A patient who says thank you.

• A card received from a patient.

• That first cup of tea when you get home.

• Five minutes of sunshine on your face.

• A quiet moment before the next demand.

• Getting through a difficult day and knowing you did your best.

These moments might seem insignificant.

But joy doesn't always arrive as a big, life-changing event.

Sometimes it arrives in tiny moments that we almost miss.

And when we're burned out, those moments can become particularly difficult to notice.

My favourite practice: Three Breaths of Gratitude

You know how passionate I am about simple tools that don't add more stress to your day.

So here's something you can try in less than a minute.

Breath One — Pause.

Take a comfortable breath and notice where you are.

Breath Two — Notice.

Think of one small thing you're grateful for today. It doesn't need to be profound.

Breath Three — Appreciate.

Take a moment to acknowledge it.

That's it.

No journal required.

No complicated routine.

No pressure to feel instantly happier.

Just three breaths and a moment of awareness.

And if gratitude feels difficult today? That's okay too.

You can simply pause and breathe.

Gratitude and boundaries belong together

Here's something I really want nurses to understand.

You can be grateful for your nursing career AND recognise that something needs to change.

You can love your patients and still feel exhausted.

You can appreciate your colleagues and still need better staffing.

You can find meaning in your work and still say no to another shift.

Gratitude and boundaries aren't opposites.

In fact, both are important parts of protecting your wellbeing.

This is something we explore through the Burnout to Joy Foundation Course, where we begin building awareness of stress, nervous-system responses and the small practices that support healthier, more sustainable nursing lives.

Because restoring your joy isn't about asking you to give more.

It's about helping you reconnect with yourself.

Your November invitation

This month, I invite you to try something simple.

At the end of your day, ask yourself:

"What was one good thing about today?"

Not ten things.

Not a perfectly curated gratitude list.

Just one.

And if today was particularly difficult, perhaps your answer is simply:

"I made it through."

That counts.

Over time, you may begin noticing more of those small moments that remind you why life — and perhaps nursing — still holds meaning for you.

But remember, gratitude is one tool, not the whole solution. Rest, boundaries, support and healthier workplaces matter too.

A final thought from me

After 40 years in nursing, I've learned that joy isn't something we can force.

And it certainly isn't something we should have to earn by working harder.

Sometimes we need to slow down long enough to notice that small moments of joy are still available to us.

Even when we're tired.

Even when life is messy.

Even when nursing feels hard.

Gratitude doesn't erase exhaustion. But it can help us notice the good that exhaustion sometimes hides.

And perhaps that's where we begin finding our way back to JOY.

One breath.

One moment.

One small reason to be grateful.